西

 

 

 

 

I Have Feelings

壮妈汀妈点评:看一位美国著名育儿心理专家的书《怎样教养高EQ小孩》,他讲道:“情绪辅导”是以情感的交流作为基本结构,凡是接受过“情绪辅导”的孩子,会有截然不同的成长轨迹。情绪辅导里一个简易却非常重要的步骤,就是当孩子情绪受刺激时,帮助他们去描述这情绪。

记得我家汀汀三岁的时候,有一次我非常生气,对他大声嚷嚷,他双手抱胸,皱着眉头对我说:“妈妈,生气是不对的!”我当时很吃惊,他怎么会有这样的想法!我过去对他做了什么!我反思后明白了,在他闹情绪的时候,孩子会有些破坏性的行为,而我们大人太急于纠正他的行为,而忽略了安慰他的情绪。以后我特别注意,在他生气、恼怒的时候,不管他做了什么,都先搂着他说:“你很生气吧。你是不是很难过?”让他先明白,生气是可以,生气是正常的情绪,而该怎么表达这种情绪,我们得好好谈谈。

“让孩子明白他们的感觉不是问题的所在,而是不端的行为。所有的感觉及所有的期望都是可被接受的,但并非所有的行为都可被接受。”肯定孩子的感受,是对孩子最基本的肯定,也是孩子建立自信的基础。

看到《I Have Feelings》这本图画书时,我觉得这是一本很好的帮助小孩子描述情绪的书。我们每个人都会有、也有权力拥有不同的情绪情感,教小孩子学会用语言表达情绪,不管是积极的还是负面的情绪,而大人也要学会先了解孩子的行为背后的情绪,然后帮助孩子描述出这种情绪,相信无论是亲子关系还是孩子的个性,都会有个更好的局面。

feeling01.JPG (75481 字节)

Everyone has feelings-
mummies, daddies, children-
even babies do!
Everyone has feeling...

...just like me and you.

feeling02.JPG (49678 字节)
feeling03.JPG (95413 字节)

Waking up is my best time.
I feel a laugh bubbling up inside me. 
It comes out on my face.

I'm feeling...happy!

feeling04.JPG (89442 字节)
feeling05.JPG (58330 字节)

Uh-oh! Someone's not happy now.
My baby sister feels full up with tears and she needs to cry them out until there are no more left.

Baby's feeling...sad!

feeling06.JPG (92364 字节)
feeling07.JPG (63270 字节)

"Want to watch me dress myself?" I say.
"Look, I can do up all my buttons."
The words are bursting to come out.

I'm feeling...proud.

feeling08.JPG (97271 字节)
feeling09.JPG (60749 字节)

Now that I'm dressed we can go to the park.
"Hurry up, Mummy! Hurry up!"
I'm feeling so speedy-fast inside,
I just can't stop jumping around.

I'm so...excited!

feeling10.JPG (96671 字节)
feeling11.JPG (58832 字节)  

But the bubbly feeling bursts when my baby sister gets to the big swing first.
Wanting and wanting my turn is taking up all the room inside me.

Now I'm feeling...jealous.

feeling12.JPG (99996 字节)
feeling13.JPG (67355 字节)

It's hard to share.
And anyway, my baby sister is too little for that swing, so I have to help her.
And helping her makes me like myself.

I'm feeling...kind.

feeling14.JPG (99603 字节)
feeling15.JPG (69153 字节)

"I think it's time we went home now!" says Mummy.
"No! I don't want to! I don't want to!"
I feel a shout growing bigger and bigger inside me and I have to open my mouth wide and let that shout go.

I'm feeling very...angry!

feeling16.JPG (93318 字节)
feeling17.JPG (71743 字节)

Letting out the shout helps the anger go away.
So when we get home I'm better.
But at bedtime I get all shivery inside.
Angry monsters are coming and I need them to leave me alone.

They're making me feel so...scared.
"leave me alone!"

feeling18.JPG (112695 字节)
feeling19.JPG (147776 字节) feeling20.JPG (63317 字节) feeling21.JPG (96876 字节)

My daddy helps me chase those naughty monsters away.

I can feel a cuddle coming down my arms.
I snuggle up and give it to him.

I'm feeling...love.
And Daddy feels love right back!